


As Close as We Are

by memorizingthedigitsofpi



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: AIDA mention, F/M, Fingering, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Recovery, Smut, heart eyes jemma, kisses and i love yous, mutual support and affection is my kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 06:35:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11572410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memorizingthedigitsofpi/pseuds/memorizingthedigitsofpi
Summary: Fitz is still recovering from his experiences with AIDA in the Framework. As much as he wants to be with Jemma physically again, he's just not ready. For now, they do what he feels comfortable with as they work their way back to being together fully. But emotionally, they're as close as they've ever been.





	As Close as We Are

Jemma slid under the covers and curled up around Fitz. 

"How was your day?" she asked.

She kissed his chest through his tshirt, right over his heart, and then looked up at his face and smiled. This was her favourite moment, every night. Just her and Fitz and no distractions. After everything they'd been through, being able to ask a question as simple and boring as that was all she wanted to do at the end of the day.

"Same oscillator, different D.W.A.R.F," Fitz smiled back.

He was glad to have her with him again. At first, he hadn't been able to sleep beside her because in the middle of the night when he was half-asleep, he couldn't remember which life was the real one. Couldn't remember if he was Fitz or the Doctor. Couldn't remember if it was Jemma beside him or someone he'd rather forget.

But he'd made great strides in the last few months, working with his doctor and with Jemma's full support. It was easier to know which reality was real, which memories had actually happened instead of being implanted in his head. They'd started sharing a bed again the month before. They started off not really knowing how it would go, but after a few hiccups they were back to sharing quarters again.

It was a normalcy they both cherished, especially with how _abnormal_ their lives generally were.

"You always say that," Jemma laughed, rolling her eyes indulgently and poking him in the ribs.

"And it always makes you laugh," Fitz retorted. "So why would I stop?"

His breath hitched in his chest as their eyes met and then, slowly and a bit hesitantly, he leaned down and gave her a kiss.

They'd started doing that again, too, and they were both grateful for it. They'd always expressed their feelings physically, both of them having trouble putting it into words. Holding hands, touching shoulders, stroking arms or backs. They needed those physical connections to help them show the emotional ones. Having a whole host of affectionate gestures removed from their interpersonal lexicon had been a strain, but they'd both realized that Fitz needed time before diving back in again.

Even now, he still kept his eyes open when they kissed. Jemma's fluttered shut, but he needed to know for _sure_ who he was kissing, whose lips were pressed against his. He hoped someday he'd be able to close his eyes again, but for now it was still too fresh and his feelings still too raw when they bubbled up.

Each time they kissed, he felt himself get a bit more grounded in _now_. Each time Jemma whispered his name, it drowned out that other voice in the back of his head.

Jemma sighed against his lips, and her fingers were so gentle on his cheek and in his hair. She was always so careful with him. She treated him like the most precious thing in the universe, which is exactly how he felt about her.

He opened his lips and slipped out his tongue, tasting her for the first time in too long. She moaned as he deepened their kiss, but he could feel her holding back. She was keeping herself in check because she knew he wasn't ready. She was protecting him, just like she always did.

"It's alright," he whispered.

Jemma opened her eyes. Searching his face, she saw calm there instead of turmoil. He looked firmly rooted in the present and completely sure of what he was doing.

"You're sure?" she asked. She cupped his cheek and stroked it with her thumb.

"I want to."

Moving back in, he kissed her again. There was no hesitation this time. He was feeling too good.

Jemma let Fitz roll her onto her back, and they both moaned softly when he settled between her thighs. It had been almost a year since the last time they'd been like this. After months of everything going wrong, this felt so _right_.

Fitz's nerves swelled as he felt himself start to harden. He hadn't done this since the Framework, since... _her_. Even as the pleasure moved through him, he could feel the horror start to curl in his gut, as well.

He tried to shove it down, to shut it up and make it go away. He was _fine_ now. Free from that place. In the arms of the woman he loved more than life and who had risked being killed to bring him back from that hell. He was safe here. No one was coming for him. That other woman was dead, burnt to ashes right in front of him.

But it was no use.

"Fitz?" Jemma asked.

He could hear her voice coming from a thousand miles away as he tried to calm his breathing and push back at the panic.

"Fitz? It's alright. I'm here. You're with Jemma in the base. You're an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. You were raised by your mum in Glasgow. We met in Chemistry."

She continued on, through the litany of facts, and each one brought him back from that place that he'd been. By the time that she'd finished, he was a sweaty, shaking mess but he was _hers_ again. Not that other man.

"Sorry," he croaked out, is voice hoarse with emotion.

"Shh," Jemma soothed him. She stroked his hair off his brow and rubbed her hand on his back. "There's nothing to be sorry for."

Her smile was so sincere and her eyes so full of love that he had no choice but to believe her. He kissed her again in thanks.

"We'll get there someday," she smiled. "And if not, this is still enough. Being with you like this will _always_ be enough."

As much as he didn't want to think of never being with her again, he was calmed by her words. She still loved him, even without that, and that was more than he'd hoped for not that long ago.

Fitz kissed her softly and smiled down at her as she smiled up at him.

"Even if I can't-" He gestured down between them. "I want to make you feel good. I want that much at least, even if I can't do the rest."

He kissed her again, deep and loving, and when her eyes slid shut he heard her sigh.

After a moment, Jemma pressed her hand flat against his chest and pushed him up. There was a furrow between her brows as she looked at him. "Fitz," she said, her tone clearly concerned. "You don't need to-"

"I _want_ to, Jemma," he insisted. Covering her hand with his, he pressed it against his heart. "Please?"

Another moment passed while she gauged his sincerity, and finally she nodded and smiled. Running her fingers through his hair, she pulled him back down for a kiss.

Just before their lips met, she said, "I love you, Fitz."

"I love you, too."

And then he kissed her.

This time his lips were proving his desire. They moved hotly against hers as his tongue dipped inside. Her fingers went from gently to clutching his hair, and she gasped when his hands moved over her breasts.

"Fitz-!"

He kissed her neck as he unbuttoned her top. The soft, freckled skin of her chest had been hidden for too long.

He kissed her chest, and he found her freckles kept him centred on who she was. He kissed each one in thanks before moving on to suck her nipples, and the little whimper she let out was just how he remembered it.

Moving back up, he kissed her lips again. He took a risk and closed his eyes, and this time Jemma's was the only face he saw.

He opened them again before his brain shunted off in the wrong direction, but he was buoyed by the success. He wanted more.

Skimming his hand down her ribs, he rested it on her hip for a moment while he kissed her again. Her hands roamed over him, his chest and back and shoulders, and he reveled in the closeness it brought back. Her letting go a bit made him that much more confident, and he met her eyes as his hand moved.

Under her waistband and through her soft curls, his fingers quickly found their place between her thighs. He listened to her erratic breathing and used the hitches as signposts to know he was doing the job well.

At first his fingers stroked gently along her lips. The heat was astounding, more than he remembered, and the silkiness of her hair felt good beneath his fingertips.

Soon, his middle finger pressed a bit harder, and her lips opened up to welcome him in between. She was already wet, but he knew she could get wetter. This was still just the start. They had a long way to go.

He slipped his finger just inside her entrance, and Jemma thrust her hips up for more.

Before she could apologize, he kissed her again. He wanted her to want him. There was nothing to be sorry for.

Gathering her wetness on his fingers, he moved up to stroke gently over her clit. She moaned and gasped against his lips, and whimpered when his fingers moved back down again.

"I'll be back," he whispered with that almost-cocky grin he used to have when they did this.

Jemma laughed when she saw it and kissed him again. "Promise?" she said, her tone full of meaning.

"I do," he answered, and he meant more than just 'yes.'

Her eyes closed again as he pushed two fingers inside her. He moved slowly and deliberately, letting her feel every bit. Leaning over, he took one nipple between his lips again and sucked on it as his fingers started to move. Jemma started to move, as well.

Her hips rolled up to meet his fingers and her hands clutched at his back and hair. She pulled him in so close against her as she started to tense with need.

Fitz recognized the signals and moved his fingers faster. He moved to her other nipple and gave it a bite before sucking on it. He added a third finger and brought his thumb to her clit.

"Fitz!" Jemma gasped, her eyes opening wide. Then her eyes rolled back and her back arched up.

He rubbed her clit harder, his fingers still moving, and before long he felt her start to cum.

Her pussy clenched around his fingers as her head tossed on her pillow and her nails dug into his skin. Her breaths came in gasps and shudders, and she whispered his name one more time.

As she started to come down, he slowed down his fingers. His thumb eased off of her clit and he once more kissed her lips.

"I love you," she whispered one more time, cupping his face between both of her hands.

"More than I have words to say," he agreed.

They'd taken a big step forward in his recovery tonight. He looked forward to even more. He looked forward to the rest of their lives.


End file.
